Good Intentions

Isn't life strange. It seems that we love to make all kinds of grandiose schedules and important dates only to realize what we thought was so important was really nothing more than busyness. I had great plans when i started blogging to add a new post every Monday or at least once a week. However, time came and went and so did my great plans.

Last september I was in the middle of moving into an apartment that I share for 2 nights a week when I received a phone call that change my life as I Knew it. My mother called to tell me that my grandfather was in the hospital and he was dying. She then proceeded to tell me that my sister was driving down to L.A. to try to see him one last time. I immediately decided to go with her. So she was going to pick me up in Fresno on her way down to L.A.. As I was waiting, I rushed down to my school to try and download all of my syllabi's and leave messages for my professors that I Will be gone for at least a week.

When my sister came I was not yet packed and ended up getting into an argument about how we could of already been in L.A. already--even though L.A. is four hours from Fresno and I was only 15 minutes late. CRISIS--MODE--Everything is falling APART!

We finally got on the road and drove about 1 and 1/2 hours when we get the call, "Grandpa just passed away"! as we sat in the parking lot of Starbucks and contemplated what just happened I realized that everything that I tried to do to be prepared and think ahead didn't matter! it didn't matter for me to get my syllabi's and to let my professors know. it didn't matter to pack. it didn't matter to rush around!

ALL that mattered was that I was in the Car with my sister sharing a hard long moment of silence and grief. It mattered that I was with her on the long drive back to Fresno. It mattered that I didn't have the words to say, I just listened!

Why is it that Good Intentions never really matter!

We tend to kill ourselves and go out of our way to get the important things done only to realize, they DO NOT MATTER! Usually, good intentions are more of things that we wish we could do--but can't! Why, because deep down we know they do not matter--but we desperately need to be in control!

One Step closer to self sufficiency is one step further away from dependency on God!

Letting go of control is difficult both for the one letting go and the one getting loose. Today, where do you see yourself! As one that is full of good intentions struggling to let go, or one struggling as your being free!

Free from what?

Free from what others think, feel, believe, say, imply, and tell you what, who, and how you should be like! Let today be the day that you walk in dependency on God and feel the freedom of God's grace, love, and joy!