Need a Laugh?

                                           

                         Need A Laugh?

   A young pastor inspecting his church found the steeple needed painting. When half through he found he might be short of paint so he thinned it and was able to barely finish the job.
   As he stood back to admire his work, a bolt of lightning from the clear sky landed nearby. With fear and trembling, he said, "God is that you?" 
   A loud voice replied,  "My son, REPAINT and THIN no more." 

My boss told me to have a good day, so I went home.

I'm really good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed.

Two goldfish in a tank, one asks "Do you know how to steer this thing?"

My uncle named his dogs Rolex and Timex. They were his 'Watch Dogs.'

A guy and his girl friend were running in sync on a treadmill. 
The guy trips and wouldn't you know it, he ran off with his girlfriend.